Graceful Fern asked
answered 2h ago
Asking for Advice to an L4 at Google
Hi Philip,
I came across your interview on the Peterman podcast, and was drawn to your energy and insight. I was wondering if you could spare a few minutes to send some advice back.
I recently spent a year working on Gemini on Chrome iOS which was really fun from an innovation perspective, but I was moving so fast that my features and my performance started to decline as I was trying to meet deadlines and felt pressure from all the stakeholders that wanted the features completed.
It’s been a year since I’ve been switched to a different team due to this performance and I have a lot of pondering thoughts: “is this all I could do”, “was this my limit”, “am I even a good software engineer”.
My question to you is how can I shake these feelings of low performance and how can I have that unshakeable confidence I had before having a lower performance review?
Maybe I may never get that confidence back, but I’m having trouble finding my way towards a new profound and stronger confidence in myself.
Any help is appreciated.
Philip's answer
Your sentiments are something I have a lot of personal experience with. I've had several "doesn't meet expectations" performance reviews in my career, as well as long periods (e.g. 18+ months) of unemployment which contributed to self-doubt, not to mention being rejected after interviewing with several companies.
First, I think it's important not to imbue you with a glow of false or undeserved confidence. I'm not going to sit here and say you're great, that you can do anything you set your mind to, etc. I have no idea what you're capable of.
That said, you are obviously very highly capable, having secured a job at an amazing company. Google is extremely selective in its hiring. You have a job that most people would envy and find impossible to secure. These are all strong indicators of your potential.
I find the most helpful thing to rebuilding confidence is to start with small successes. These small successes, once achieved, give concrete reasons for confidence which aren't merely bluster. Start with areas and tasks you're strong at, and build up from there. Cycles of doubt can fuel increasing insecurity; but the opposite is also true. Build for yourself some cycles of success.
My sincere hope is that you regain your footing and can feel once again confident in your strengths.